Friday, September 08, 2006

The Defenders of Manhood

Did you know that I am “almost as vile and despicable” as Matthew Allen White - the scum who beat up my daughter?

With these words -- Men Are Scum Until Proven Otherwise -- I have gone and slandered the good name of all of innocent mankind -- just like a "man-hating femi-nazi" would.

Somebody fetch me my smelling salts. I feel a swoon coming on.

What part of “until proven otherwise” do you guys not get?

It’s not my opinion. It’s a worldview that many of us have been forced to adopt. If you don’t know that you probably need to spend less time ranting about your offended male sensibilities and more time listening to women. But that’s hard to do when you don’t like what you hear, and if you don’t like what you hear, women must be “man-hating femi-nazis.” So there, you don’t have to listen.

According to those whose manhood I have slighted, I have committed the grievous sin of defaming and slandering the good name of all of innocent mankind. My little audacious feminine self has offended the big bad wolf of masculinity. Horrors! Somebody throw some wood on the fire and burn the witch -- again!

Never mind that my choice of words was lifted verbatim from the mouth of my daughter’s father -- a man who has been issuing the warning: men are scum until proven otherwise -- since the day the first boy came near one of his daughters.

I think we know that when big hetero-hair-on-his-chest Daddy says something, the clouds suddenly part and, voila, the Age of Enlightenment is upon us. Cuz it takes a Daddy!

The problem is not my choice of words. The problem is that a woman said them. Ah, if only I’d batted my eyelashes, smiled sweetly and said with bated breath: it must be true 'cause men say so too.'

It’s just so much fun to beat your chests and shout “man-hating femi-nazi!” And it has the added benefit of changing the fucking subject. Instead of talking about the outrage of widespread male violence, you get to talk about the man-hating bitch.

Instead of titling a post about my daughter being beaten to a pulp by her boyfriend: Men Are Scum Until Proven Otherwise, I should have written:

Gee, one man beat the crap out of my daughter’s face. What a rare and novel occurrence!

The defenders of manhood are not talking about violence against girls and women. They are not owning up to the fact that their half of the species has a huge violence problem. They are not owning up to the fact that some of us have noticed that masculinity as we know it is in serious need of some modifications. And, yeah, the "some of us" who have noticed includes men. Duh.

Men Stopping Violence -- One in three women are physically or sexually assaulted by a man sometime in her lifetime. Every day in the United States, an average of three women are murdered by a partner or ex-partner. Over half a million women are being stalked right now by a man.

Cause if they ever did own up to the fact that the connection between masculinity as we know it and violence is a huge problem, traditional masculinity might have to change, and that would be just so scary. Let the women keep on changing, dammit, the men are fine just as they are.

Men Stopping Violence -- Violence against women will only end when we all get involved, men and women together.

As we all know, the defenders of manhood tell their daughters that men are angels to be completely trusted until proven otherwise. Or, maybe they don’t even bother with the “proven otherwise” part.

And when their trusting daughters get the shit beat out of them, they are shocked and appalled, cuz they never heard of such a thing! Goodness gracious, an actual man beat you up honey child? I thought it would be a woman. Cause whenever I walk to my car in a dark parking lot and someone is behind me, I am so nervous when that someone turns out to be woman, and I am so relieved when that someone is a man. After all, 93 percent of the prison population is female.

You defensive guys can talk about the agony of this outrageous and slanderous slight against all of mankind amongst yourselves. I will be returning to the oh-so-less-important subject of violence against girls and women. That’s violence against girls and women who make the mistake of trusting some of you. And in my view, that includes those of you who are more concerned with imagined slights against your hallowed manhood than the reality-based reasons that so many girls and women have for regarding men as scum until proven otherwise.

Fortunately, lots of men do get it, and god knows where I or my daughter would be without the men who are actually capable of e-m-p-a-t-h-y and who are not so insecure that they are compelled to change the subject to their oh-so-offended male sensibilities.