By now you've probably heard that when antigay crusader Chris Clem agreed to allow the "Anybody but Gays Can Adopt" bill to morph into the "Ozzie & Harriet Can Adopt First" bill, the crusader was being less than straight with us.
state Rep. Clem put on his not-quite-straight face in order to get the amendment out of the subcommittee. Apparently, Clem's 'honest to god' plan is to "amend it back the way it was" by the time it reaches the House floor.
No word yet on the details of Clem's plans to install gay radar in the Department of Children's Services. We're sure he's waiting until the bill is safely passed before he reveals the dirty details.
Perhaps Clem and fellow antigay crusader Sen. Jeff Miller will teach some "How to Spot a Queer" classes to DCS employees. Given the DCS's failure to protect children from abusive heterosexuals, we're sure they're excited about the prospect of taking on the task of detecting homosexuals in the home.
Certainly no one could be more qualified to be Gay Detectors than these two straight shooters. Neither men have ever met an antigay bill that did not whet their appetites. Both men are so gay-obsessed that they have made mini careers in the "No Homosexuals in Our Club" field.
Some speculate that Sen. Miller's obsession is fueled by the fact that he has an out-of-the-closet brother. One source goes so far as to suggest that it was only after the media carried the story about Miller's gay brother, that facial hair began to sprout on the antigay crusader's face.
When you view the fervent crusaders side-by-side, Miller's hairy masculinity makes him the obvious Angry HeteroMan, leaving baby-faced Clem to the role of Uptight Boy Wonder.
You won't want to miss the show on the Hill when the Boy Wonder tackles the adoption bill and reveals to one and all that he was only fooling, he never really stopped thinking about homosexuals, not even for a minute.
