Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Bush Interprets Election: My Way Or the Highway


The pResident who famously gives himself permission to ignore the law by issuing signing statements, has now let it be known that he has his own interpretation of the November election results.

According to the Commander-in-the-Bubble, when the American people voted for the Democrats, they were telling Bush to spend more money, send more troops, do whatever it takes to achieve victory or win the War on Iraq!

But in a wide-ranging session in the Oval Office, the president said he interpreted the Democratic election victories six weeks ago not as a mandate to bring the U.S. involvement in Iraq to an end but as a call to find new ways to make the mission there succeed. He confirmed that he is considering a short-term surge in troops in Iraq, an option that top generals have resisted out of concern that it would not help.

Bush also said, "We're not winning, we're not losing." It was just days before the November elections when the Decider had a different view: "Absolutely, we're winning."

And in yet another flip-flop, Bush has signed on to the Democrats call for an increase in the overall size of the U.S. armed forces.

The Decider offered more gems during his press conference this morning. Here are just a few:

"The enemy is . . . violent."
"I believe we’re going to win."
"We're going to succeed."
"The enemy . . . can’t run us out of Iraq . . . that’s not going to happen."
"I’m willing to follow a path to victory."
"I encourage you all to go shopping more."