File this one under News from a Red State that Cut its Own Throat by Bringing you George W. Bush.
Last night, the Nashville Metropolitan Council passed a resolution affirming that Jesus was "an actual man." I kid you not. I think it's safe to assume that the Christian Governing Body means Jesus was a macho heterosexual white man who would be driving an SUV and living in Belle Meade, with a wife and two children, if only he were alive today.
Jesus sure wouldn't be wearing sandals and living amongst the poor cuz then he'd wouldn't have no health insurance like all those other bums. He'd be too sick to save the world. He sure wouldn't be hangin' with a bunch of male disciples cuz then people would think he was gay.
The Music City USA Metro Council went so far as to say that Jesus "impacted" the United States of America more than the rest of the world.
Cuz we're special.
Oh, yeah, the Metro Christian Council also said, we ain't got no Holiday Trees!
I voted for some of these Fox News Disciples.
I won't do it again.
The Nashville Metro Council Sayeth:
WHEREAS, the word Christmas is derived from the act of celebrating the Mass of Christ, which appears in Old English text dating back to 1038; and
WHEREAS, Jesus Christ is an actual man who was born over 2,000 years ago, as recorded by history;
WHEREAS, Jesus' life and teachings were and are so extraordinary that they have profoundly impacted the entire world, especially the United States of America; and
WHEREAS, the US Code regulations concerning the celebration of Christmas as a legal holiday are mirrored throughout all the United States, with Alabama having the distinction of being the first state to declare Christmas as a legal holiday, doing so in 1836. By 1907, Oklahoma rounded out the list of then-states by enacting a declaration of its own; and
WHEREAS, ninety percent of Americans consider themselves Christians, according to a recently completed national survey; and
WHEREAS, the modern world's calendar is categorized into two major sections: B.C. - before Christ's birth, and A.D. - after Christ's birth; and
WHEREAS, the vast majority of Americans are not offended by use of the words Christmas and Merry Christmas, but rather give and receive love, hope, comfort and joy to and from one another by using those words; and
WHEREAS, it is fitting and proper that the Metropolitan Council of Nashville and Davidson County states that it affirms and supports the use of the words Christmas or Merry Christmas, instead of non-descript, generic terms such as Happy Holidays, Winter Festival, and the like, when referring to Metro Government events or activities traditionally associated with Christmas, such as the Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony, Christmas Parade, and Metro School's Christmas vacation for our school children.
NOW, THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED BY THE COUNCIL OF THE METROPOLITAN GOVERNMENT OF NASHVILLE AND DAVIDSON COUNTY:
Section 1. That the Metropolitan County Council hereby goes on record as affirming and supporting the use of the words Christmas or Merry Christmas, instead of non-descript, generic terms such as Happy Holidays, Winter Festival, and the like, when referring to Metro Government events or activities traditionally associated with Christmas
Section 2. The Metropolitan Clerk is directed to send a copy of this Resolution to Mayor Bill Purcell.
Section 3. This Resolution shall take effect from and after its adoption, the welfare of The Metropolitan Government of Nashville and Davidson County requiring it.
Sponsored by: Eric Crafton, Charlie Tygard, Jim Gotto, J. B. Loring, Rip Ryman, Michael Craddock, Feller Brown, Parker Toler, Billy Walls, Randy Foster, Jim Forkum, Jamie Isabel, Buck Dozier, Edward Whitmore, Michael Kerstetter, Adam Dread, Jason Alexander, Carl Burch, Jason Hart, Vivian Wilhoite, Sam Coleman, Carolyn Baldwin Tucker
Bah Humbug!
On a related note, if you should ever be required to make an appearance in Music City USA's traffic court, be prepared to bow your head in Holy Christian Prayer. I kid you not.
Send books, therapists and money!
Hat tip to Bruce Barry at Pith in the Wind
UPDATE: Gen. JC Christian at Jesus General has a few suggestions for Councilman Eric Crafton, the wacko city father who came up with this grand waste of time.
Republican Jesus photo found at Jesus General
War on Christmas Radical Right Christmas Holiday Trees Nashville Music City USA Bible Belt Nashville Metro Council Tennessee
